Dad

I am struggling with the loss of Dad.  I am not angry with God.  I believe Dad would have wanted to go the way he did.  Quickly.  I struggle as one left behind.   I feel confident we will meet again someday and yet I feel a gap in my life without him.  He was the head of our family in a way that most family don't seem to function in this day and age. 

Mom as our Megan Grace puts it seems broken.  She does not sob all the time or cease to do the things that need to be done; she is taking one day at a time like the rest of us. She is a very strong woman.  It is one of the reasons he loved her so much.   I think she is doing as well as one can when the love of their life has left the earth unexpectedly.   She gets up and does what needs to be done, but the loss of him next to her is ever present. 

All the family seems to be suffering from stomach pain and intestinal issues.  A physical response to a big psychological issue.  Beyond that we all react differently.   Some are more talkative and need to express their thoughts to all who will listen, and others are more withdrawn. 

I will be honest, I marveled at how one of my sisters never seemed to stop talking.  It didn't anger me although I did wish she could just  be quiet for a time.  I never bothered to express it because I knew it was her way of coping.  She needed to fill the quietness. 

I am a combination.  Sometimes I talk, sometimes I withdraw.  I was quieter during the preparations than I would have ever thought myself capable.  It was because so much of it was unimportant to me.  There were things that were important to Mom, and my sister.........I just listened and said, "that's fine."  Why shouldn't they do as they please?  It wasn't the important stuff for me. 

The important portion of his service to me was when I spoke about him.  I needed people to know how cool he was,  how much he really LOVED her, and how he loved to sit at the head of one big table with all of his descendants and bask in the glory of us.   Like God surveying light, land and plants "And God saw that it was good."  In all of us Dad saw greatness. 

Somebody tell my why AOL is nothing but Huffington Post liberal news?  It is completely nauseating.  Why can't there be less bias in the things they allowed to be posted there.  Someone needs to create a blogisphere for those less liberal!!

I watched some of the Republican Convention.  The press and pundents should leave Clint Eastwood alone.  He made some very funny and very poignient statements.  So he wasn't slick Willie.  It was a "Republican" convention ...........slick willy didn't belong there.  Mrs. Romney did a great job.  She was heartfelt and real.  And Mitt's speech was good.  His devotion to the welfare of our country.  This is a great country.  We should not have a president who apologized for our countries greatness. 

We are the caretakers of the weak.  We get out and try to support other countries and their peoples when they need us.  We cannot be everywhere at once but we have sure tried.  We have the best armed forces in the world.  They are dedicated young men and women and we should give them the respect they deserve. 

James 3:16-18

 
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

James 3:16-18

When we are insecure in our work, we begin to build our own domains that lock others out. Our fears that others will look better or perform better than us only serve to isolate and make our work more difficult. In these scenarios our ministry is lost, because those we are meant to care for are the ones who suffer. It is in pulling together that everyone wins, for our loads are shared and the needs of others are more readily met.

Marriage

Is anyone besides me totally overwhelmed to see the marriages around us disintegrate?  I feel like my parents made it plain to us as we grew up that marriage wouldn't be easy.  That it would wonderful part of the time and a royal pain sometimes too, but that it was the working through the hard times that would make it all worth while. 

The depth of my sadness for others is difficult to describe.  I do not understand the thought that it is okay to just walk.  People saying, "I'm not happy."  or "I can't see myself feeling love for him again."  Excuse me?    It all makes me sad and a bit angry too, like my head wants to explode.

The best way I can think of to get over this problem is to think of someone besides yourself every minute of the day.  Turning away from the selfishness of these thoughts is the only answer.  I always think, "what about your teenager?"  What are you teaching them?  Are you teaching them.......".if you turn 50 and decide your mate isn't doing for you what you want, just leave.  Find someone who excites you?"

And do these people consider the statistics?  Women who divorce are usually considerably worse off financially afterwards.  And divorced men and women are much more likely to be unhappy and lonely as they age into their older years.  I have witnessed this first hand when I worked in a doctor office for several years.  Many divorced people would call and keep you on the phone forever because they are lonely. 

I would love to be able to help my friends who are thinking this way to look at their marriages in a different way.  I have tried and failed with two friends.  I don't know if it was even possible to help them, all I know is .....nothing I had to say made any difference. 

Life is good.  Oh, there are hard times and struggles, but when I look at my big picture.  Life is good.  It doesn't take a high dollar job, a perfect body, or anything fanciful. 


If we have a home, food, and family.......We are doing good.  I watch the people around me.  I see the young people today who expect so much, and parents who foolishly give what is expected.  Do 9 year olds need cell phones, TVs in their rooms, or their own lap top? 


This is no TV month at our house.  We aren't watching the TV for the month of January.  We do this twice a year.  And, yes, I know people think we are crazy.  That's okay with me, although I would rather that people listen to why and what we gain from it so they could possibly be convinced to give it a try. 


I thought you'd never ask.  We have a dyslexic child who never wanted to pick up a book.  Stopping TV helped us get more reading in.  Then we realized that we spent more time talking, laughing, sharing and having fun as a family during that month.  With no TV to sit in front of we had more sit down look at each other time while we ate our dinner.  Not till you have done it for a while do you realize just how many great things there are to do without it. 


I will be honest.  There are 5 people in my house and only 2 of us are totally convinced about no TV month.  My husband is not one of the two.  He agrees because he knows in his heart that it is good, but he really misses TV.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not a saintly woman who doesn't look at TV.  I am a TV head, I can quote many a program, but I aspire to be free of some of the persuasion of TV.  The seamier it gets the more I want to get away from it. 


Oh, and.........we don't have cable or satellite either. :)